Friday, 24 July 2015

Max's Holiday Writing

This week for writing we have been focusing on creating writing that is interesting and engaging for our readers. A goal for our writing was to create a first sentence that 'hooks our readers in'. We have been making careful choices about what information to include in our writing, ensuring that the important details are included.
Here is Max's writing from this week. We would love it if you would read this writing and post a comment for Max. What makes this good writing? What is your favourite sentence or part of the writing?

At The Movies
The lights are slowly turning off. It is dark. The movie starts. We are starting to eat our popcorn and drink our Bubbles. The lollies were good. There was a part of the movie when a minion took all his clothes off except his underwear.
A villain got so angry she got her lava gun.She went to the castle! The door broke and it fell to the ground. She pointed the gun at the three minions and Bob gave the crown to the villain.Then the villain was the Queen. 
The villain had an acid grenade that can destroy anything.

By Max   23/7/15


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5 comments:

  1. Anonymous27 July 2015 at 16:07

    Hi Max!
    Good story Max. I like your opening sentence. So dramatic!
    What sort of drink is "Bubbles"?
    You described it well max.
    I look forward to reading another of your cool, dramatic story sometime soon.
    Keep it up Max!
    From Ryan

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  2. Anonymous29 July 2015 at 13:41

    Hi Max
    Great story but I am wondering, why did the minion take all his clothes off?
    Your story has made me want to see the movie. What is it called please.

    By Elsie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous29 July 2015 at 13:49

    Hi Max

    My favorite part of your story was when Bob gave the crown to the villain because of the way you wrote it. It was exactly like it happened in the move.
    My favorite character in the movie was Bob. Who was yours?
    I really like your story Max.
    by Tamati.

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  4. Sue Stevens29 July 2015 at 13:57

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous29 July 2015 at 13:58

    Hi Max
    Pretty cool story Max.
    What do you think the funniest part of the movie was?
    It is fun going to the movies.
    I cant wait to read about the next movie you go to see.

    From Sean

    ReplyDelete

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